TRUE LOVE

 

AN INSPIRATIONAL 'TUMBUNA' LOVE STORY

Picture captions

2.     Gumau and Tabie with their children, Tony and wife Roselyn (far right) and Daughter Rose (far left) with grandchildren and great grandchildren.

3.     Gumau and Tabie with their first born daughter Rose (left) Tony (left) and Wife Roselyn (back)

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By BENJAMIN TABIE

Some things have stood the test of time; love is one of them – and it actually stood since before time itself.

Koma Tabie and Gumau Bai of Chuave in Chimbu province share a love story that is a shining example of love’s longevity.

They made a commitment to spend all of their tomorrows together on September 1939 and both are estimated to be in their 80s and still counting.

The love-struck couple come together due to their fathers title backed then in the times of luluais and tutuls.

In the past, marriage was seen as a tactic that bonded tribes together, solved conflicts and tribal fights and mended relationship between tribal enemies thus, daughters and sons of chiefs had no option but to live up to the expectation.

That was the time Koma Tabie and Gumau Bai submitted to their fathers’ wishes, respected in their respective tribes as it was known back then that the interest of tribal leaders came before the feeling of love itself thus every daughter and son must live up to it.

Conversely they both joined hands in an arrange marriage ceremony and had three children, 20 grandchildren plus 10 great-grandchildren.

The couple were asked several questions about their long lasting love and their responses came with simple secrets reflecting on reality back then if they thought they would survive together all these years.

Old man Tabie said that with each day that passed, their relationship was grew stronger and secured even though it was an arranged marriage, divorce was NEVER an option, or even the thought of separation. 

He recalled that in the past, traditional law and talks were paramount, more importantly they had a role to play to please their fathers.

“There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other and our family," Tabie recalled.

Old woman Gumau also recalled the yesteryears with his husband describing him as a good provider who always made sure family came first. “I married a good man” she said.

When asked what was the best piece of advice they received, Tabie said in the past, when the haus man system was actively practiced, that was the only place where they received proper advice to survive in their communities.

Gumau also recalled that men were superior at that time and as women, they had submit to their husbands giving them respect and performing their duties accordingly.

Both said the traditional law was helpful and also harsh back then up until they converted into Christianity in 1952 being baptized with the Seventh Day Adventist Church.

Both discovered many things and experienced a new type of lifestyle through church work by dedicating themselves to be missionaries and helped spread the gospel in a time when traditional and customary knowledge, idea and practices were very strong.

Both recalled their second marriage in church where they took heed of a message that was preached to them by a church elder saying “respect, support, and communicate with each other, be faithful, honest, and true and love each other with all of your heart’.

 

“As converted Christian’s we tried our best to follow such advice and it brought us all the way here to see our fourth generations,” Tabie said.

 

When asked what’s the one thing they have in common that transcends everything else both said that they are Christians and they believe in God and Marriage is a commitment to the Lord therefore they prayed and continue to pray every day for their marriage.

 

Before winding down interview Tabie gave a little advice as the Christmas message to the young couples and those who are about to get married;

 

“Remember marriage is not a contest, never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win. Everyone who plants a seed and harvests the crop celebrates together. We are individuals, but accomplish more together, Merry Christmas young fathers and mothers and God bless you all."